i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize