Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
