I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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