Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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