I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
