2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
