I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
