So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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