I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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