It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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