i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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