i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
