Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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