I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
