I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
