I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
