If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
