I got chris browned last night
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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