Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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