shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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