at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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