is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
