Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
time to smoke my breakfast
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
third nipple confirmed
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
pray to the hookup gods
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
