you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Damn victory sex feels great
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
