i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I AM VODKA MAN
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
