Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
