That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
ttyl tear gas
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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