So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wear drunk well.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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