HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
