I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All I want is dick and wine.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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