His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
