Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
