after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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