I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
