blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
