Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
