We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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