He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
FUCK WHALES
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
