I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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