Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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