i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
