come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
