Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize