Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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