I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
