cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
