I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
