Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
