Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This toilet bowl is my home.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
