Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
