I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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